If you’ve been thinking about proposing, we are here to help ease your worries.
Not everything is like the movies with large sparkling diamonds, buckets of tears, and perfect weather. That being said, you can still make the event perfect for the two of you. Customize the proposal with something of significance to you both, and check out these myth busters!
One: Your partner will be 100% shocked and swept off their feet While it may take months in the making to decide on the perfect proposal, don’t get your hopes too high. If you and your partner have talked about an engagement ahead of time, or even scheduled it out (roughly, like you know it’s going to happen in the next three months), it may not come off as a total surprise when your partner gets down on one knee.
Personal experience:
While I’d love to say that I was shocked at my own proposal, I can’t honestly say that I 100% was. My fiancé and I had been very open about our future together, and I knew that we were going to get engaged sometime during the year. Now with twelve months, that could literally happen at any time. When he asked me if I wanted to go hiking to our special spot, I knew something was up. Did I know he was going to propose to me that night? No. Did I have a suspicion? You betcha.
Two: The ring has to be decided on by the proposer This is typically a traditional view on engagement. Of course, if you are a traditional couple, you may want to leave the decision up to the proposer, but that doesn’t always have to be the case. Even if you’ve been dating for years, you might not know your significant other’s style exactly. It never hurts to go window shopping for rings so you get an idea of the taste you’re both looking for rather than spending tons of money on a ring your partner might not enjoy wearing.
Personal experience: Before we became engaged we had gone looking at different rings a few times. This gave my fiancé a chance to test different looks out and gauge the waters before taking the plunge. Each time we went, he learned something new about my taste.
Along the same lines, not all engagement rings have to be full of diamonds! Get a ring that means something to you. Have you ever thought about incorporating Black Hills Gold in an engagement ring?
Three: You need to ask for the parents’ blessing
Tradition is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for the two of you. While this time-honored tradition of asking for the father’s or parents’ blessing for their daughter’s hand in marriage goes way back, the only opinions that really matter are your own. If the two of you feel that the time is right, don’t let anyone hold you back!
Did You Know: According to a 2015 report by The Knot, only 77% of grooms asked for either the bride’s father’s or parents’ permission. However, more recently, one survey found that 63% of millennials asked a partner’s parent for permission.
Four: Marriage is a forbidden topic until you’re engaged Engagement myths like this are not only incorrect, but they can be really destructive to a couple. You’ve heard before that communication is key to a good relationship. That means the first time you discuss marriage should most definitely not be when you’re on one knee or staring at an engagement ring. Throughout your time dating, both of you should be comfortable discussing your future together and what that looks like. We don’t mean you have to have a date in mind after only your second time out together, but you should both be thinking about it as your relationship becomes more serious.
Personal experience: I couldn’t tell you for sure, but I think we had only been together for about eight months before the topic came up. We definitely weren’t thinking about getting married that soon, but we wanted to explore that path and possibility, which led to many more serious conversations and ultimately a closer relationship.
Five: Only the man can propose This is probably one of the biggest engagement myths out there. Most movies and TV shows show proposals with the guy on bended knee, but in today’s modern society that’s not exactly how it’s going to play out 100 percent of the time in real life. Toss that stereotype out and don’t be afraid to take fate into your own hands.
Personal experience: I have a friend from college who was proposed to by his girlfriend, and now they’re happily married, opening the next chapter of their lives together. Happiness is what matters, not who pops the question.
Published on Black Hills Bride.